The great rivers of this Life are in the power of the Lord. And they carry headlong all those who despise Him: and entangle their paths. They sweep away their banks. (they know no boundaries to the damage they can cause). Their flooding catches the bodies (of weak, sinful ones) and destroy their lives. For they (Life’s trials, tribulations, and hardships) are more swift than lightning and more aggressive. Those who cross (meet them) in faith are not moved (troubled or distressed); And all those who walk on them without blemish (in purity) shall not be afraid. For the lesson in them is what the Lord hath done. All those who cross (meet) them in faith are not moved. (troubled or distressed). Put on, therefore, the name of the Lord (Jesus Christ), and know Him. Then, you shall cross them without danger, for the rivers (and seas) will be subject to you. The Lord (Jesus Christ Himself) has bridged them by His own word; and He walked and crossed them on foot. His footsteps stood firm on the water (undisturbed) and were not injured; they were as firm as a tree that is set strong against the winds. Even though the waves were lifted up on this side and that, yet the footsteps of our Lord Messiah stood firm and were not deterred from their purpose. And a similar way is appointed for those who cross after Him. And for those who will adhere (steadfastly) to the course of faith in Him, who worship His name. Hallelujah. So be it.
For me to even suspect that others would daily read my blog, or even “get anything out of it” is possibly hoping for too much. That alone, doesn’t matter to me so much anymore. I have surrendered my personal ambitions for success in this endeavor; and leave the outcome to God to prosper as He sees fit. No ‘arm twisting’ or coercion is taking place here. You always have, and will have the freedom to read or go on to do something more enlightening. The thing is… MOST PEOPLE HAVEN’T REALLY EXAMINED OR “LOOKED OVER” ANY OF THIS BLOG! That much saddens me. But, if only for my own sake; I will continue to write, hoping that someone other than me will read any of it! If you happen to read this today GOD BLESS YOU! You, for one, have made my day a little more pleasant and rewarding. Here is my Truth for you today: “The mediator between the head and the hands must be the heart!” None of what I say matters if your heart is not in the right place. All that you may know won’t help you. Nor will what you attempt to do, UNLESS your heart is for the Truth! May what truth I have shared help you today. PS: What is here is ALL OPEN for you to purview. Don’t just stop at the entry for today! Enjoy it all, and comment if you’d like to.
I write this post after yesterday’s unique experience. I was supposed to go to have my eyes dilated after seeing an Optometrist for night- driving glasses. I was told it would affect my vision. Unfortunately (or fortunately perhaps) it also altered the way I perceive myself and my place in the world as well! I was later feeling both gigantic in size, as well as normal. I was feeling very energetic, yet very relaxed. It was both dark and light, visually speaking; yet mentally I was amazed and bewildered. Alert, yet confused. Self-sufficient, yet helpless in many respects. The effects of these eye drops lasted several hours until the early morning (about 3:00 AM) the next day. Today I am much more “returned to normal”, so to speak. I prayed at 3:00 in the morning and began to burst into tears. I didn’t start out feeling particularly sad or depressed. Was I overstressed, overanxious, overburdened? I don’t know. After a ‘good cry’ to the LORD GOD (specifically: FATHER, MOTHER, LIGHT, LIFE, LOVE); I ended, “In the Name of Your Beloved Holy Son Jesus Christ I pray and ask these things. Amen”. Was the prayer alone all it really took to bring me out of it? I wonder. My housekeeper came about 7:00 AM in pouring rain. But I was then so very glad to see him. My day began to pick up after that. Despite a trip in the rain to the pet store and the bank; I made it home. Hence we can see how there just may be a connection between our eyes and every other part of our being. My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, how we, Your Children, don’t see how we are a ‘composite’ Being of Body, Soul, and Spirit. Our Minds and emotions are also at play here. What may affect just one thing (or so we suppose) MAY just affect our whole being. We “return to normal” the moment we “look to you”. Thank you for Your Presence always. Amen.
Yesterday, as I was exiting my church with one of the ladies there; I had a sharp, intense pain on my right lower side of my ribs. Since I was earlier diagnosed as having Chronic Stage Three Kidney Disease; I thought, “Maybe my Kidneys are malfunctioning or something.” I quickly grabbed the area and said “OW!!!” The lady who was with me believed I was in serious pain. Then again, “AHH!!!” The pain jumped around and traveled to the left upper side of my chest. HEART ATTACK! maybe I’m having a heart attack! I was quickly rushed inside to sit down. “Do you want me to call for help? Maybe I should get the Pastor? Call 911?” “No, I’ll just sit down and rest awhile.” Maybe you should have some water? “Yes, and maybe someone can pray for me!” A Latino/Spanish speaking Pastor, who also shared the building, laid hands on me and prayed in both English and Spanish. The Pastor of my church congregation came and asked what was wrong. I explained as best, as well as others, what was going on. After much debate on the course of action to take; it was finally decided that the Pastor would follow me closely while I drove myself home. I was still shaking, but not as visibly white as I once was. The Pastor lingered to assure himself that I was alright before leaving. Was I alright? Was this all just gas on my stomach, nerves, muscle cramps, what? I called the Trustee over my home/estate. What does he REALLY CARE! Will he come to my rescue? I felt God had told me, “I am giving you a reprieve.” Was He really? or was this just my imagination? Had I only been “Play acting” all along? No real help was offered by the Trustee. He told me, “Call me back if it is a real emergency! Otherwise, call John, my Partner in my Gay Marriage.” Okaay. And “John will come by tomorrow to help you pay your bills.” I decided to rest 1 hour and then try to cautiously drive myself just down the street from my house to Mc Donald’s for lunch. Having made it there and back home, WITHOUT ANY CELL PHONE, I decide the worse was over. I tried to use the toilet only to discover BLOOD had filled the bowl. But it was possibly due to anything right? No need to worry, or should I? Anyway… this is how my days typically go. Never is it without drama or unexpected excitement and surprise. Life is full of various cares, concerns, anxieties, fears, and worries. Hardly a moment passes for me that someone is not forgetting about how their demands may just make my Life a little more difficult for me. My LORD GOD, You alone are my Savior, Master, and King. I have little, if absolutely no control over the various aches and pains of this body of mine. Please help me, and us all. We, your Children have no idea why all this is happening to us. This world can be so unpredictable to live in. We don’t like that others can control the quality and quantity of our time on Earth. They can make it a Literal Hell/Heaven for us of their choice. We are helpless without You. Although given a reprieve; sometimes we would like to comprehend Your Ways better. We want more certainty when faced with uncertainty. We trust your faithfulness and goodness always, but doubt our own human weakness and frailty. Oh, Lord God, Where are you really when we feel so alone with all of our problems? When others shout, “Do this, Do that!” do we take the time to ask what is it that you want of us? Maybe a little less of Self and more of You. Thank you Jesus Christ that IT WILL ALL WORK OUT FOR THE BEST. In Your Holy Name I surrender my all to you this day. Teach me all that I need to cope with each day’s stresses. Amen.
Jesus said: “If you can believe, ALL THINGS BECOME POSSIBLE to him that believes”. Mark 9:23. (My own paraphrase). I am not trying to shock and awe anyone here. This may be legitimate. Consider… you are eating your Cheerios for breakfast, with your coffee and water to take your pills, or vitamins for the day. Are you really? or are you in “God’s Dream” of your doing this? Maybe, your still asleep and just can’t wake up! or perhaps in your own dreaming, it is REALLY just gas on your stomach from last night’s meal?! What I am saying is; how do we really KNOW? At this point, (I say this jokingly) you may be pinching yourself or slapping yourself awake! Jesus wants us to trust Him. He never told his disciples, “Well, you’ll figure it all out eventually. Go and have a great time!” NO!!! He said he would instruct and TEACH THEM. How, we don’t know except for what we read in the New Testament. Perhaps, he oftentimes did not have to say anything. Perhaps, their own, what we call “Consciousness” was ONE with Jesus’s Spirit enough to allow the inner dialoging to convince them, at times, of His Presence. We’ll never know. Perhaps Jesus told them, in the language of their time: “I AM YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS !” (Just not in our Modern vernacular). Consider… Isn’t this startling revelation TRUE for us Disciples too? I know, you may be saying, “Well, if I never have read of this before on your blog; it most certainly is a mind-boggling concept!” My Lord Jesus Christ, please help us all to understand how different your ways are from ours. We can’t even begin to wrap our minds around it. And whereas, here, Timothy may be presenting to us bold, innovative, and unusual concepts; maybe, just maybe, those in this post are 100% TRUE! Help us not to be closed-minded Christians. In your holy Name Lord Jesus we pray. Amen.
Allow me this small indulgence of relating my day. (Or, you can ignore this post altogether!) I can’t stand the frustration of daily Life. Who can REALLY! Today, my frustration was San Marino Security Systems, Inc. I could barely leave my home without them dispatching the police within 15 minutes of my leaving! My poor dog, Dorothy, as good a dog as any, can’t move or jump in my home. They say the “motion detectors” will go off. When I leave; they call me on my Cell Phone and IMMEDIATELY want me back home! They will call every 15 minutes to rush my arrival. When I arrive at home, and explain everything to the officer; he thinks he must be talking to some senile old man. He shows ME how to “properly” open my back door. He tells me, “Well, if your Trustees to your Estate had fixed the lock to your back door right the very “first” thing; you wouldn’t have this problem to begin with. AAARGH!!! Please officer, just kill me with your gun now. Can you relate? Then I have to WAIT, until they return my call before I can even eat!!! Jesus Christ knew of this kind of frustration far more than I EVER would or could. When I feel like just giving up; HE NEVER, EVER, WILL GIVE UP ON ME! I cry, I weep, I curse and swear. Yet, Jesus listens patiently and says, “I am here. Be not afraid.” Oh, the very depths of the Love and Grace of God. I could close my eyes, or open them, and ALL I SEE reminds me that HE IS HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE! I could live homeless, sleeping in a dumpster; yet I would be as secure as a baby at its mother’s breast. I could have my Life crumble all around me, yet HE would BE THERE, all the same. I have the very best! What more could anyone want? Jesus, my Lord and Savior, THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! My tears could never say enough. Amen.
I have a medical condition called GERD. For many people this is very manageable. What it is, however, is a Gastric- Esophagus Reflux Disease. Basically, it causes sometimes extreme Gas and Acid on my stomach. You all have known, if you have read any of my posts; how I am living TOTALLY ALONE apart from my dog, Dorothy. When I ate a very spicy Italian sandwich (two in fact), I should have anticipated the results! OH, was I in PAIN! Did I have a Ulcer? Was I having a Gall Bladder Attack? or something MUCH worse. We single people, become paranoid at the first thought of hospitalization. To think, if we have NEVER been in a hospital for ANY MAJOR illness, injury, sickness, disease, or broken bone; we dread that day like Death Itself! So… when this attack occurred then I hesitated calling 911, I did not go to the Emergency Room, nor Urgent Care. After all, it was just GAS on my stomach! BAD MISTAKE! I had no medication at the time to take, as I had to force myself to drive to a meeting, THAT WASN’T AN ABSOLUTE NECESSITY! I told my “friends” if I pass out or look like I am in serious emergency, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE! DON’T HESSITATE TO CALL 911! They said they definitely would, but continued non-stop talking about THEMSELVES! I finally, had to excuse myself to drive home, which I could barely walk to my car, except at a snail’s pace. NOBODY CARED! EVERYONE IGNORED ME! Does any of this sound familiar? Jesus found, that He too went through this, very much! When He expected family, friends, ANYONE, to be there for him, they weren’t! Many a sleepless night, many an uncomfortable moment, and yet even the Angels of Heaven couldn’t prevent what HE HAD to go through! We too may lose the incentive just to want to eat or do anything for ourselves. But, Jesus NEVER GAVE UP NO MATTER WHAT! And neither should we. Amen
Lately, I have taken my own personal Life Experiences and reflect back upon what I have learnt. Yesterday was a day I overslept. When I did awake to my day, I began my morning devotionals. I usually start my day about 3:00 AM, Believe it or not! Because, as a totally single man, I have a million and one thoughts that distract my thinking. ANYTHING! Mosquito bites. Whatever! I’m sure Dorothy, my dog who I force to sleep with me out of insecurity, hates that idea! Once I start my reading, I usually don’t even want to say, “Good Morning, Lord!” Granted, despite my continual dialogue in my mind with Him; I don’t. I don’t care about reading. How truly boring this is! I ask the Lord, after saying, “Good Morning, Lord!” “What is the Lesson you wish to teach me today?” He said, “It is going to be about Feelings. Your feelings and how you cope with them.” O.K. As if I don’t know my own feelings! Reading, I try to get the input of what is said. I usually skip to the more important stuff! How sad. Jesus tells me to “FOCUS!” I read each section of the material and conclude that each page is the Truth and very good! My prayers are very, very weak and insincere; although I truly “TRY” to mean them with ALL OF MY BEING! I try to get up to get dressed. Major accomplishment! Every little detail of my little Life is planned! I stuff Everything into my shoes and pockets to prevent me from having to make several trips up and down the stairs! Gingerly carrying my load in my right arm, I say, “I wish I were DEAD! Lord, I’m so frustrated living this way! He says: Timothy, I LOVE YOU! Do you believe this?” I quickly apologize although “Repentance” is very difficult. I go literally through every room. I find Dog mess on the very expensive 18th Century Persian rug Living Room floor! Grippingly, yet reluctantly I clean it up. Again, I apologize to the Lord and forgive the dog. At the very end of the day, regardless of whatever occurred, I end my day with the Lord. Lust, passion, on and on and on. I meet myself, the Devil, my Ego, and my VERY BEST FRIEND! Do I have all of Life figured out? NO!, Definitely not! But I do have Him. My Father God, how I am truly sorry for how I acted yesterday. I can not last a day without you. Please, forgive me! Wash me once again, and make me whole. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen
These were my thoughts for today. I don’t ask you to agree or disagree. They ‘just are’. I am trying to adjust myself to “Being fully and completely Jesus’ Disciple”. I am going through my “rebellion phase”, so to speak. My Ego, Self/Self-will, Soul questions my “errors in judgement” and “degree of overall maturity”. Like a very immature child, I addictively/obsessive-compulsively go back to my “old habits” and “former actions/memories” to comfort me in my aloneness. Then I have the incredibly audacious thought, “What if God, BEING ALL, is in some very remote (perish the thought!) sense, BOTH GOOD AND EVIL?” Okay, strike me dead dear reader, and condemn me to the lowest Hell with Hitler and Judas Iscariot! You see, WE, not God, are determining some things. And despite the Bible being “inspired” and declared “Holy”; IT ‘AS SUCH’, IS NOT GOD! It was written by men all the same. And God NEVER expected us to “worship” A BOOK! So…. Does God have a “Split- personality”? Could He be BOTH Good and the one who “allows/permits” EVIL? YES! “ALLOWS AND PERMITS”, but “GOOD” IS NOT EVIL, AND VICE VERSA! Our motivations lie as the basis of all our innermost decision-making. And it really isn’t ANYTHING AT ALL until WE “determine”, along WITH GOD just ‘what’ we will ACT upon! Sin is such. Evil “cooperates” with God’s Purposes and Design. I get it, but I most certainly don’t want to ACCEPT IT! God help us all; as we do try, ever so hard, to get things right.